Heart Sick!! Tired T_T

Today, I'm feel very sick in my heart because my lover tell that she was apply a work at outside of our state. Why she doing it to me? Does she not loving me anymore? If she haven't feeling at me, please tell me honestly.

I'm also do not want force anyone to love me. I just want a true love. Never ignore love only because of luxury. If true she want to luxury and this love are just give her spirit over the years, I could release her with a good way.

Do not need to find an excuses to work away from me. Even though we are in a state, we very rarely to see and dating. Because I try to respect your family, your parent, but now why do you want to keep more distance?

I don't feel regret because sacrificed my dream before this just for my love. Because I believe, if that is my fate, I will get it. Honey, if you wan't continue our relationship, please honestly to me. T_T And, I'm also tired with this situation. (Dalam hati, kalau tak nak sudahlah)

Turn Back Into The Dark

Tonight, 19 May 2011, I think the whole my life and my self turn back into the dark. I dont know why this all happen. And I never thought my relationship with her that more than 3 years we were together, just vanish like that. Just one word, broke. We just spend time together yasterday, but today?

My life before was really very bad and despicable. I live and grow up in its. Gambling, illegal racing, fighting, and many more. But for the sake of a her, I left that world, a world have the popularity and funny, just because of love.

But, now, I'm left alone. Exhausted tears, appeals and apologize to her. Just pointless. Our plan for the engagement of this September, and were married in December, was destroyed. Yes, i'm man, but was wrong to me concerned about my love? My friends always advised me not to believe a love so much, and now, only me feeling it. This is my third love in my love, but this time, i don't want the love again. I think.

Should I go back to the dark world of the past through this darkness, alone? And should I turn back to the drift arena that I have left behind?